Solo:  An autistic super-soldier’s journey into the power of family, laughter, and violence.

You can ultimately blame this movie and all like it on Universal Soldier which started this silly ass genre of the super-soldier with the heart of gold. People tried to replicate it forgetting that Van Damme and Lundgren’s rivalry is what made it great. These same people managed to create the script for Solo, rubbing their hands together so impressed by their own bullshit that they slowly pushed the script to Mario Van Peebles with shit eating grins. With Highland: The Final Dimension and Posse under his belt, I imagine that he looked at the script, shrugged, and said, “Fuck it, why not?” The rest is movie history. It’s a shame really that while Kurt Russell’s Soldier manages to whistle and walk the other way, Solo takes the fall for having a rep for being the shittiest. That’s what you get for doing handsprings in the middle of a firefight.

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Saving Christmas

Saving Christmas:  *Starring- Kirk Cameron *Executive Producer- Kirk Cameron *Narration- Kirk Cameron *Production Company- Camfam Studios…………………….Kirk Cameron

Do you have your own set of ideas and beliefs when it comes to Christmas? Are you a Christian that has been upset with all the commercialism that has rampantly overtaken the story of Jesus? Kirk Cameron is here to tell you that you are wrong and that “you’ve been drinking the Kool-aid.” Saving Christmas is the latest movie from Kirk Cameron that has performed as well as a movie could hope for in Shitty Cinema. Now as we unwrap this unwanted present under the tree of shit, Kirk wants to remind you that if you aren’t on his level of Christmas spirit, you are screwing up Christmas for everyone. Way to go, assholes.

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American Ninja 2

American Ninja 2:  There’s enough Steve James for me not to care that ninjas run around on the beach.

With ninja summer camps, ninja lasers, and Steve James stealing scenes, American Ninja redefined ninja movies in the U.S. even if the redefinition was fucking dumb. American Ninja 2: Confrontation ups the ante with even more Joe and Curtis bro-ing it out, beating the shit out of ninjas and confronting a secret diabolical plan foot-to-face style. Only the sheer power and prowess of Joe and Curtis can see themselves through their most treacherous and stupid adventure yet.

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