Ricky-Oh: The Story of Ricky

Ricky-Oh: The Story of Ricky:  Have you ever been so mad that you punched a guy's arm off?

I always wondered what would happen if Goku was a real person and he punched some dude in the face with his super-saiyan powers. Would he just knock their head clean off or would the guy just turn into instant spaghetti? In The Story of Ricky, we have the answer. Arguably the most violent martial art movie ever made, no limb or body part is safe from the insanely powerful Ricky-Oh. He can and will punch your fucking head clean off. It manages to take the cheesiest acting, the most ridiculous special effects, and some of the craziest over the top violence blended together to become one of the greatest movies my eyes have ever seen.

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Leprechaun:  Fuck you Lucky Charms!

Tea Leoni was originally supposed to get the spot of Rachel on Friends but turned it down. I can only image the scramble to get their actor. Two producers probably coked out of their minds, churn out names in a sort of shitty celebrity bingo. Suddenly another pops in the room holding a VHS copy of Leprechaun.

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Top Dog

Top Dog:  What do Turner & Hootch and K-9 both have in common? Not having enough roundhouses.

Name one good Chuck Norris movie right now. Go ahead. I'll wait. You were about to say Way of the Dragon weren't you? That shit doesn't count. It's Bruce Lee knocking around Chuck in last fight scene. Delta Force you say? Sucked. Sidekicks? You only liked it because you had a crush on Winnie Cooper from the Wonder Years. Chuck Norris is the king of the shitty action movies with Steven Seagal pudgy ass following closely behind. For this week, we could have gone a much easier route with Forest Warrior. It's the one where Chuck protects a forest as an ancient spirit that can turn into a bear, an eagle, and complimentary sweet roundhouse kicks. Shit. I might need to do that one down the road. Instead, we take a roundhouse loving no nonsense cop and pair him up with the department's most decorated maverick canine in the action epic Top Dog.

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