The Long Dark

The Long Dark:  There’s only so much pork and beans in the world.

Here’s a friendly reminder. Just in case you forgot with images of maple syrup and hockey, Canada is cold as shit and will fucking kill you. There’s that one movie where that Alec Baldwin and Hannibal Lector fight a bear in the wilderness which kinda sucked but made it out that being in the woods sucked even more. You had that Into the Wild movie with that retarded kid going out to the wilderness only to die like an idiot. It was in Alaska though, so close enough. There was also Strange Brew that showed how much it sucked in Canada without beer. The Long Dark is the latest in a string of survival themed games that pits you against the Canadian winter. It’s simplistic in style, easy to pick up, and ultimately leave you for dead in the snow. It’s great.

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Fallout 4

Fallout 4:  The story of a man trapped in a busted game engine with the world’s most retarded dog.

Imagine that you have the most adorably awesome puppy. This puppy is great and you know that it’s going to be a great dog. The puppy is a little older now. It’s doing the same adorable things but you can tell it’s growing up and getting smarter. Good boy. After some time, your puppy is now a grown dog. It’s still a smart animal, but no longer adorable. This dog is a good looking son of a bitch that is not only your best friend, but is a tough motherfucker too. This dog can now get your back and can now watch the house for you. Some years go by and your dog learns some new tricks. Some of the new tricks aren’t that great. Some are pretty awesome. Your dog is starting to show its age. All things considered, you still have a great dog. Some years go by and your best bud gets hit by a truck. Your dog can still do all the things it used to but everything seems…off. You dog can run twice as fast but tends to lick its asshole twice as long. For every time it plays dead for your friends, it takes a meaty shit in your shoes. You still love this dog. Hello Fallout 4.

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Soma:  So a guy walks into the doctor’s office for an experimental brain scan…

In the world of survival horror gaming, Frictional Games reigns as king. With the Penumbra trilogy under their belts, the company set out to make Amnesia: The Dark Descent which stands as one of the scariest games ever made. Yes, it is really fucking scary if horror gaming is your thing. Now, Frictional Games has just released Soma, their sci-fi horror follow up. While it manages to be a rare case of two extremely well made parts not overlapping well, Soma manages to be a terrifyingly atmospheric game with a great story.

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