The Archive

Retropie V2.3: The Installation Guide

Not too long ago, a tiny Linux based computer known as the Raspberry Pi was released into the world and the majority of people geeked the fuck out. People started coming up with crazy ideas and frothing at the mouth with this small and cheap device. Most of this revolved around media centers and things that involved Arduino boards. Let me try to clear any of the mystery and bullshit surrounding this device. This is a small but not very powerful device that is great for low overhead services running or for those that want to try to pick up Linux. Honestly, for about 30-40 bucks, this is a cool gadget if you are interested in tech. Since running emulators to play old school games would be considered “low overhead” in today’s tech world, the Pi becomes a pretty good fit for this.

The Down and Dirty Guide to Personal VPNs

Security is one of the more overlooked things in home networks. With all the NSA buzz we now know thanks to the Snowden articles, privacy is jumping on the home network insecurity train. Sometimes there are sketchy wifi that you have no clue if it might be monitored (FaceNiff anyone?). ISP's don't like torrent traffic at all, and will love nothing more than to throttle your bandwidth to fucking dial-up speeds for getting the new Game of Thrones episode. Get lubed up for the RIAA to send you a subpena for the new Drake album. You downloaded it didn't you. Absolutely disgusting. Anyways, if any of these hit a nerve, then you may want a little layer of protection, then a VPN may be right up your alley. What we'll go into in this very basic guide is what they are, why you would use them, and how to get one.

The Lazy Man’s Guide to Home Media Servers (with PLEX)

If you’re acting out being the King of Romania from our VPN guide, or just have a ton of digital media floating around on a hard drive or two, you already understand the monumental pain in the ass that is moving files back and forth between devices. Also, most homes already have multiple devices running multiple operating systems that make compatibility another issue you have to worry about. Queue the media server, which depending on the software and hardware you use, can get rid of a lot of these headaches. So if you are tired of watching movies on your computer and are ready to put them back in the living room (or tablet in the dropping deuces bathroom….hell man….I don’t know how you roll), having a media server is a cool way to have your own personal Netflix.

Luther Strode:  A superhero story where people are exploding vessels of meat and instant spaghetti.

Deadpool:  The LTN Guide to the Merc with a Mouth

He’s been in all the X-Books, dated Death, took on Wolverine and lived, carried Thor’s hammer, yelled at Michael Jackson, breaks the fourth wall at the drop of a hat, had a decent video game, and is now going to be headlining his own movie. Overexposed? Maybe. Funny? Depends on who’s writing it. There’s no doubt that he is a staple at Marvel for being a little crazy and over the top. For those that are clueless as to who the hell this “Japanese Spider-man” is, we hope to shed a little bit of light for you.

Rasplex:  Turning your Raspberry Pi into a handy little Plex viewer.

There are a ton of projects that the Raspberry Pi has going for it. Some of which include the Retropie, security cameras, makeshift web server, media player, even a fucking cat feeder. For those of you looking for a home theater solution and are already using Plex, the Rasplex should be perking your ears as a cheaper (and great) alternative to the Chromecasts and Apple TV’s out on the market.

Newcastle Mini Keg:  I'm actually pissed that this wasn't invented sooner.

Compared to the rest of advancements in human technology like computers, transportation, and medicine, the art of getting fucked up off of beer has not really moved forward as much as it should. The creation of the keg and the mighty 40oz have helped moved things forward but all we've had recently that stands out is the wide mouth lip and putting caffeine in the hooch. Kegerators and the Beertender are great, but still a little too expensive for your casual drinker. Enter the Newcastle Mini Keg that is cheap, runs an internal draught system, and can easily fit in your fridge.

Soul Doubt IPA:  At around $8 for a six-pack, this newly distributed IPA is worth a guzzle.

Following the end of the bullshit “Three-tier system” of alcohol distribution in the state of Texas, which ended in June of 2013 (next victim should be Texas’ archaic Blue Laws, fucking Puritans), comes a canned IPA from Freetail Brewing Co. Soul Doubt IPA is Freetail’s great first attempt at canning their signature IPA as they had previously only been able to provide it via tap at their brewhouse locations in Austin and San Antonio, Texas.

Back Yo Shit Up:  The LTN guide to sensible file backup solutions

You probably have sitting on your computer right now files that would make you shit yourself if they were lost. That’s okay. Most everyone does. You probably haven’t done anything about it since you’re probably too busy surfing for porn or updating your Tinder bullshit. Now is the time to take measures to I’m not talking about backing up your entire computer either since there are better programs dedicated for that. I’m talking about the essential files like work and resume info, financial paperwork, or maybe some wedding photos you can’t get rid of. We’ll talk about backup strategies and practices to use to make sure you’re not fucked when your computer goes belly up.

Terry is seriously wondering why you don't have a backup strategy. Why the fuck don't you have one you asshole!?

On-site vs. Off-site Backups: On-site really just means that you have your backups performed in the same building. Wether your backups are on a USB sitting in a change jar somewhere or have a NAS backup plugged into your home network is on-site. Off-site is where the backups are performed usually over the internet and probably using a service if you are just a home user. Dropbox and other services perform this in different ways. Which one should you use? You want both to be on the safe side.

Onsite: There is nothing wrong with keeping your on a USB thumb drive or external as long as that shit is encrypted. Why? Here’s a hypothetical. Imagine that you have a basic backup of your files on an external sitting all pretty on your desk. Some asshole then decides to break into your house when you are away to take all your shiny shit and possibly have time for a snack. Munching on a delicious turkey and swiss sandwich, the thief notices your external and begins to admire the portability of the device. Now you are out of your TV, your videos games, the external with all your important shit, and one potentially delicious sandwich. Any thief worth their weight in salt will check your super unsecured external for nice things like social security numbers, tax information, and personal data. Moral of the story? Secure your shit. Diskcryptor is a great free tool if you need an external or flash drive encrypted. USB Flash security will encrypt your flash drive up to 4GB free. Keeping these encrypted is good practice, and if you have a safe or safety deposit box, it’s a smarter play to keep them there.

He's sad because he lost ihis girls smother in gold porn collection. Well...to be honest, I just googled for world's saddest person. That will be you in the search result if you don't back up.

Offsite: I never understood keeping your eggs in one basket. Who the fuck uses baskets for egg transportation? Use a goddamn carton you fucking savage. Anyway, offsite backups should be used in conjunction with your onsite methods. There’s lots of online services to use with some of the more popular being Dropbox, Google Drive, and iCloud. These are fine for pictures and recipes, but for sensitive information, these should be carefully considered. I wouldn’t really trust Apple’s security with anything, Google’s stance on this is like a friendly uncle that could eventually put it in your ass when you pass out, and Dropbox security concerns are laughable. There are better alternatives out there which I’ll cover.

Dropbox: I’ll mention this due to the popularity of the service. Dropbox is one of the easiest and most popular online backups to use if you don't give a shit about security and just want to dump a bunch of your kid's birthday pictures when your phone runs out of room. Seriously, there are reasons for concern if your entire company has been considered for inclusion into the NSA's PRISM program and Edward Snowden spoke out against their security concerns. If you want to take the plunge, it offers syncing and 2GBs free. $10 will get you up to 1TB of space and sharing. This is perfect if you want to share your ladyboy porn collection with friends you sick fuck.

Spideroak: An alternative to Dropbox, Spideroak takes a better approach to security and makes it easy for the average person to use. It also offers 2GBs free, syncing across multiple devices, and automated backups. Their paid version is pricier coming at $12 a month for 30GBs. If security is a concern, Spideroak is not a bad choice. If you have financial data or just shit you need secure, this is one of the best options.

Mega: If you have heard of Megaupload, then you might have heard about Kim Dotcom and the FBI raid in 2012. If security is a concern for your data I would probably listen to the man who still hasn't been extradited from New Zealand and even had the balls to announce Mega by reenacting the raid on his mansion with dancers. Mega offers encryption for your files out of the gate, 50GB of storage, and syncing across multiple devices for a free account. For about $10 a month your storage can get bumped up to 500GBs. If the FBI raids his shit again, at least your data will be secure.

You think those are Soundwave's friends. Fuck you. Those are old school tape backups.

Look. You’ve probably owned a computer long enough to know first hand that you understand that they will eventually fuck up and have experienced the loss of shit that was important. Whether it was family photos, school work, or vintage porn, the loss hit hard. If you take anything from this guide, just take this. Back your fucking shit up by any means or you’re going to be crying into a pillow wondering what you are going to do without pokeporn collect…..I mean tax returns on a Friday night. Cover your ass and back that shit up.

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JSA: The Golden Age: Characters you never really cared about have one the best fights in comic history.

Robotman. Mr. Terrific. Manhunter. The Atom. Starman. Hourman. Liberty Belle. What is seemingly a roster of leftover superheroes comprises the Justice Society of America. While I can safely say I never really cared for their comics, what is shown in The Golden Age is nothing short of awesome for any fan of the medium. What we get from artist Paul Smith (various X-titles) and James Robinson (Starman) is a great pulp comic story straight out of the 50's with an end fight that ranks in one of the best in comic history.

Minibar:  Someone took the most important wishes and made them come true.

It should have been a no brainer, but someone has come up with a service that gets the booze from your the liquor store straight to your lazy ass. It just started here in San Antonio and some other major cities.  How does it hold up? We rolled the dice and tested it out on a Saturday evening.

LTN Superbowl Bet II:  The Humiliationing Strikes Back

Once again the fellowship is joined and what they choose will shake the foundation of LTN to its's core for years to come.  This year the wager is simple.  Winner pick humiliating songs.  Losers have to sing them.....on Youtube.  The bets are as follows-

• Phil- Carolina (U2- Numb)
• Rob- Carolina (Wake Me Up Before You Go Go- WHAM!)
• Cody- Denver (Smashmouth-  Allstar)
• Rick- Denver (More Than A Woman- BeeGees)

The announcements of losers will be updated in this article once the final score is tallied.  May God have mercy on all our souls.

Planetary:  The story of superhero archeologists beating the shit out of the Fantastic Four while romping through comic history.

Superhero archeologists are probably a rough pitch to sell to a comic company even with the loose reigns of Wildstorm in mind. I'm sure it helped that Warren Ellis just had The Authority and Transmetropolitan under his belt, so I'm sure the higher ups said, “Fuck, it. It's crazy, but you're crazy enough to make it work.” So armed with John Cassaday's breakthrough art and Laura Depuy's (Martin) coloring, Ellis set to work on Planetary. It has since become one of the most interesting, beautiful, and awesome works to this day all while managing to add a certain amount of mysticism to comic history.

Snatcher (Sega CD):  If Blade Runner was an anime and you got to shoot the Terminator.

Hideo Kojima will forever be associated with Metal Gear, but not many know of his other, less popular games like Snatcher. It was one of the first visual novels for American audiences and one of the only good games the failing Sega-CD it ever featured. Naturally, no one heard of it and it trickled down into obscurity as Konami pushed more Contra, Castlevania, and Metal Gear to a demanding audience. It’s a shame with Snatcher since it was one of the coolest experiences you could have had for the system once you got over Sonic CD and the Dragon’s Lair bullshit.

Shadowrun:  It’s like D&D with guns in the future with evil corporations and the Lawnmower Man in a 16 bit package.

Joshua’s life stops to a halt when he gets word that his brother is dead. A shadowrun went bad. Bad is an understatement since it got reported in national news from the cybereyes of one of his dead partners. He flies to Seattle to a coffin motel where his only clues come from a shady manager holding his brother’s gear for a price. After doing jobs for equally shady Mr. Johnsons (middle men of corporations that hire out highly illegal work of varying degrees) he gets enough cash to get the gear and sort out what the hell went wrong. Three of his contacts come up from the holopix in his possession. Three people are the clues that Joshua needs to settle the bill.

Shipyard Pumpkin Ale:  Fuck you pumpkin pie, I have pumpkin AND alcohol.

Well, Thanksgiving is right around the corner and it’s time to stuff your face with turkey, stuffing, shitty vegetable dishes, and pumpkin beer! Of all the shit people spray with pumpkin flavor when Fall comes around, I have to say fortifying beer with pumpkin reigns supreme.

So Brutal.  So Catchy.

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Budget Boozing: An Economic Guide for a Leisure Lifestyle

You’re the person that has worked a long week at your dead end job trying to make it to that glorious weekend. You’re also in desperate need of getting fucked up. You open the air conditioned nirvana of that liquor store’s front door and gaze at the army of bottles lined up all seemingly waiting to give you the best stories of your life. But alas, your wallet screams in pain as the top shelf bottles tease you with their smooth deliciousness looking down at the peasant you are. “No!”, you cry out in anger. “FUCK YOU!”, is your battlecry as you grab a dusty bottle from the bottom shelf and raise Excalibur to the sky. The mission is to get trashed, and let no mortal or budget consideration stand between you and alcoholic bliss! Raise your head in spite of the social conventions of these “connoisseurs” or “people of reason”. LET NO MAN, WOMAN, OR BEAST TEAR ASUNDER WHAT YOU HAVE RAISED!

The Parker Series:  The biggest bastard you’ll never admit wanting to be.

“When a fresh-faced guy in a Chevy offered him a lift, Parker told him to go to hell. The guy said, “Screw you, buddy,” yanked his Chevy back into the stream of traffic, and roared on down to the tollbooths. Parker spat in the right-hand lane, lit his last cigarette, and walked across the George Washington Bridge.”