The Archive

JSA: The Golden Age: Characters you never really cared about have one the best fights in comic history.

Robotman. Mr. Terrific. Manhunter. The Atom. Starman. Hourman. Liberty Belle. What is seemingly a roster of leftover superheroes comprises the Justice Society of America. While I can safely say I never really cared for their comics, what is shown in The Golden Age is nothing short of awesome for any fan of the medium. What we get from artist Paul Smith (various X-titles) and James Robinson (Starman) is a great pulp comic story straight out of the 50's with an end fight that ranks in one of the best in comic history.

LTN Superbowl Bet II:  The Humiliationing Strikes Back

Once again the fellowship is joined and what they choose will shake the foundation of LTN to its's core for years to come.  This year the wager is simple.  Winner pick humiliating songs.  Losers have to sing them.....on Youtube.  The bets are as follows-

• Phil- Carolina (U2- Numb)
• Rob- Carolina (Wake Me Up Before You Go Go- WHAM!)
• Cody- Denver (Smashmouth-  Allstar)
• Rick- Denver (More Than A Woman- BeeGees)

The announcements of losers will be updated in this article once the final score is tallied.  May God have mercy on all our souls.

Minibar:  Someone took the most important wishes and made them come true.

It should have been a no brainer, but someone has come up with a service that gets the booze from your the liquor store straight to your lazy ass. It just started here in San Antonio and some other major cities.  How does it hold up? We rolled the dice and tested it out on a Saturday evening.

Planetary:  The story of superhero archeologists beating the shit out of the Fantastic Four while romping through comic history.

Superhero archeologists are probably a rough pitch to sell to a comic company even with the loose reigns of Wildstorm in mind. I'm sure it helped that Warren Ellis just had The Authority and Transmetropolitan under his belt, so I'm sure the higher ups said, “Fuck, it. It's crazy, but you're crazy enough to make it work.” So armed with John Cassaday's breakthrough art and Laura Depuy's (Martin) coloring, Ellis set to work on Planetary. It has since become one of the most interesting, beautiful, and awesome works to this day all while managing to add a certain amount of mysticism to comic history.

Snatcher (Sega CD):  If Blade Runner was an anime and you got to shoot the Terminator.

Hideo Kojima will forever be associated with Metal Gear, but not many know of his other, less popular games like Snatcher. It was one of the first visual novels for American audiences and one of the only good games the failing Sega-CD it ever featured. Naturally, no one heard of it and it trickled down into obscurity as Konami pushed more Contra, Castlevania, and Metal Gear to a demanding audience. It’s a shame with Snatcher since it was one of the coolest experiences you could have had for the system once you got over Sonic CD and the Dragon’s Lair bullshit.

Shadowrun:  It’s like D&D with guns in the future with evil corporations and the Lawnmower Man in a 16 bit package.

Joshua’s life stops to a halt when he gets word that his brother is dead. A shadowrun went bad. Bad is an understatement since it got reported in national news from the cybereyes of one of his dead partners. He flies to Seattle to a coffin motel where his only clues come from a shady manager holding his brother’s gear for a price. After doing jobs for equally shady Mr. Johnsons (middle men of corporations that hire out highly illegal work of varying degrees) he gets enough cash to get the gear and sort out what the hell went wrong. Three of his contacts come up from the holopix in his possession. Three people are the clues that Joshua needs to settle the bill.

So Brutal.  So Catchy.

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Shipyard Pumpkin Ale:  Fuck you pumpkin pie, I have pumpkin AND alcohol.

Well, Thanksgiving is right around the corner and it’s time to stuff your face with turkey, stuffing, shitty vegetable dishes, and pumpkin beer! Of all the shit people spray with pumpkin flavor when Fall comes around, I have to say fortifying beer with pumpkin reigns supreme.

Budget Boozing: An Economic Guide for a Leisure Lifestyle

You’re the person that has worked a long week at your dead end job trying to make it to that glorious weekend. You’re also in desperate need of getting fucked up. You open the air conditioned nirvana of that liquor store’s front door and gaze at the army of bottles lined up all seemingly waiting to give you the best stories of your life. But alas, your wallet screams in pain as the top shelf bottles tease you with their smooth deliciousness looking down at the peasant you are. “No!”, you cry out in anger. “FUCK YOU!”, is your battlecry as you grab a dusty bottle from the bottom shelf and raise Excalibur to the sky. The mission is to get trashed, and let no mortal or budget consideration stand between you and alcoholic bliss! Raise your head in spite of the social conventions of these “connoisseurs” or “people of reason”. LET NO MAN, WOMAN, OR BEAST TEAR ASUNDER WHAT YOU HAVE RAISED!

The Parker Series:  The biggest bastard you’ll never admit wanting to be.

“When a fresh-faced guy in a Chevy offered him a lift, Parker told him to go to hell. The guy said, “Screw you, buddy,” yanked his Chevy back into the stream of traffic, and roared on down to the tollbooths. Parker spat in the right-hand lane, lit his last cigarette, and walked across the George Washington Bridge.”

Commando Drinkathon:  The Less Than Negative crew gets stupid with the cheesiest/greatest movie in Arnold's armory.

Saturday- June 27th: "Come on Bennett. Let off some steam" The LTN crew is going to tackle the Commando drinking game featuring the star of all stars, Arnold Schwarzenegger. Our dossier of the toughest black ops drinkers include Phil who has been trained the wino style and has extensive catalog of whiskey experience. He also single handedly rescued beer from a hot LZ in New Orleans while fighting off swarms of homeless NVA.  Our next operative is Rob who excels at tech and sports knowledge. Give this guy a six pack of Rolling Rock, a spool of chicken wire, a 1st gen iPod, and a lvl 100 Dwarf, he breech any defense. Our last specialist is a master at digging and getting hit with a shovel. Cody creates a tapestry of typos in articles when fueled by cheap whiskey and White Castle sliders.

Synchronize your watches:  8:00pm Central

Where?:  Our UStream Channel

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Actraiser:  "They won't carry this guy off the field on a stretcher, they'll carry him off in a sponge."

Traditionally most gamers fall into about three different groups. The first are your hardcore simulation players. These guys can tell you why it’s reasonable to buy a $400 dollar flight stick or show off their racing chair in front of a triple display setup. The second are your hardcore sports fanatics. You’ve probably met these people as they are probably the only fuckers to ever own a multitap so their can yell racial slurs at each other playing Fifa and the latest Madden. Then you have everyone else. In an attempt to make a sports game appeal to everyone else, Mutant League Football was created. It wasn’t the first to bridge the gap, but it was the first at being able to run into a landmine during a play, bribe the ref, or kill the entire opposing team.

The Amazing Spider-Man:  After years of shitting on Parker, a ray of light hits the current arc.

Anyone who has been a fan of Spider-Man has been through some rough times. You have the awful confusing mess of the Clone Saga, Sins Past where it was revealed Gwen Stacy had love children with the Green Goblin, and the rotten cherry on top with One More Day where in an effort to retcon Spider-Man’s history, Peter Parker makes a deal with the devil to save the life of Aunt May who should have decades ago in exchange of forgetting he’s married to supermodel Mary Jane. All in that horrible afterbirth, Dan Slott has been slugging away at Spider-Man with brute force. He gave us some good arcs like American Son, the Gauntlet, and Spider Island. Now with the latest reboot, Slott is injecting something Peter Parker has never faced before. Common sense.

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Copperhead:  Sometimes I just want my sci-fi simple and western.

One of the best series out is also one of the most unassuming. If you judge a book by its cover, and you have to sometime by their very nature, Copperhead doesn't stand out amongst the shock inducing cover art that fans are used to. This is by no means a bad thing, but what makes it different also makes it a must read. The cover art is clean and direct compared to the blood splattered, gory, team ensembles, or scantily clad women that we are used to in our weekly releases. Copperhead may be an unassuming title, but it is full of solid writing, pacing, art, and world building that comes together to create something much better without relying on obvious gimmicks.

Now I need to get Arma.

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