Batman v Superman

Falling Down:  If you don’t give a shit about superheroes….it’s great!


Here comes the big push back. The answer in retaliation from DC to the Marvel film onslaught comes in the form of Batman v Superman: Dawn of Justice. From everything DC is pushing about the film, they are going towards a darker, more serious nature than what we usually get from your typical Marvel flick. They are pitting two of the most famous heroes against each other like it’s a Don King promotion set against the gritty standard that the Nolan Batman series created. What we get in the aftermath will probably divide the audience into different camps. For comic fans, it’s a head scratching, confusing mess. For those looking for a beat em up, you get great action scenes and great set pieces. For everyone else, it’s a head scratching, confusing mess. Take comfort that we get to of the biggest superheroes beating the shit out of each other.

The man can physically throw you to the sun and you think the helmet is going to work?

The film puts us on ground zero with Bruce Wayne during the fight at the end of Man of Steel. Superman and General Zod are throwing each other through buildings and causing all sorts of hell in Metropolis. Bruce (Batfleck) is scrambling almost helplessly to get his people out of his company building during this destructive chaos. The repercussions of the fight are heavy for the rest of the film. The world is conflicted with how to treat Superman as he is now revealed to the public. His acts of selfless helping throughout the world are contrasted by the devastation he was involved in. None one can deny the godlike power he holds, especially a certain vigilante in Gotham. While the two are slowly coming to a head, Lex Luthor is already orchestrating a plot to get rid of Superman by any means. There’s a big fight between the two…and another….and another. Wonder Woman shows up too.

The most powerful man in the entire world walks in and you are just sitting down like an asshole.

Any reservations that you had of Ben Affleck doing the job should be wadded up and thrown in the trash. Batman is fucking great. Aside from some dumb narrative the script has, Affleck handles both Bruce Wayne and Batman equally well, so well that he should now be considered one of the best to play the part. We also have the action that is popular with the director’s style. Zack Snyder has a lot of fun action scenes that are meaty enough to chew on without needing slow-mo. The destruction of Metropolis in the opening is amazing and watching the characters slugging it out later is a good time. Snyder is good with shit breaking on screen.

Take a step back from the action and the problems get glaring. The story has a shit-ton of side plots that go all over the place that feel they were just stapled to the final draft of the script. Most of them go where they need to go with Batman and Superman beating the shit out of each other. Some just cram things to push the franchise in other spinoff movies like (spoiler alert) other Justice League heroes. I still have no idea why Wonder Woman was in the film. I have bigger question marks from Lex Luthor’s (Eisenberg) character. Why did they make him Joker 2.0? The biggest offender in the films if you connect to the comics in any sort of personal way is tone. If the heroes were anything other than the heroes they were representing, it would have been fine. Are you okay with Batman using guns? How about Superman not caring about the buildings he destroys completely throwing away the point they used in the opening? You should be okay with Murderman vs. Collateral Damage Dude. But I guess that’s nitpicking.

"Riddle me this, Batma......The joke's on you, Batm......Wait. Which villain am I supposed to be again?"

For a franchise stepping stone and having a coherent plot, Batman v Superman fails to do this in any sort of competent way. It’s a hot mess no matter how you pull things apart and put them back together again. There’s going to more of these films if sales and Ben Affleck’s performance are any indicators, so here’s to hoping there’s tweaks down the road. Though, at the end of the day, a movie successfully depicting two superheroes beating the shit out of each other in spectacular fashion just like the title says does the job. Turn your brain off, enjoy the movie for what it is rather than what it’s trying to be, and you’ll have a decent time.