The Martian vs. Sicario

The Martian vs. Sicario: Put in a deep pit and forced to fight their way out, who comes out on top?

One is a man’s journey for survival on a barren and hostile planet where hope and science are the only things that can help him survive. The other is a gritty thriller depicting the harsh realities of cartel violence in Mexico through the eyes of an FBI field agent way over her head. We stack them up toe to toe to find out which film comes out on top.


The Martian: On a mission to Mars, Mark Watney (Matt Damon) is left for dead and has to endure a hostile alien landscape. He endures a freezing atmosphere, never ending potatoes, and disco while NASA tries its hand at a rescue.

Sicario: Kate (Emily Blunt) an FBI agent is sent to a task force headed by Matt Graver (Josh Brolin) into Juarez, Mexico to take on the Cartels. Accompanied by an enigmatic agent named Alejandro (Benicio Del Toro), Kate struggles to make sense of the purpose and scale of the operation and not being able to pick up tacos the entire time.

Winner: The Martian- Guy stranded on a planet alone sounds a lot of better than taking a trip to a shitty part of Mexico.

"If you fart in a spacesuit and no one is around to smell it...oh god...kill me."  


The Martian: Mark Watney is an astronaut/botanist/nerd who makes jokes to cope with his lonliness and desperate situation.

Sicario: Take your pick. The cavalier Matt who handles the operation. The naïve but tough Kate. The cold, seasoned, and ruthless Alejandro.

Winner: Sicario- Strong and believable performances by everyone in Sicario trump the liable but obnoxious Watney.

"Look bro. I'm the sunglasses guy and you're the scarf guy. You can't do both. It's too much cool to handle."  


The Martian: Mars and government bureaucracy.

Sicario: The Mexican cartels and the city of Juarez.

Winner: Sicario- Getting stuck on Mars would suck, but it seems like a quiet vacations next to the shithole Juarez where they hang headless bodies from overpasses and shoot at each other with automatic weapons.

"Log Entry Day 137. I've officially stuck my dick in all my equipment including my cute little bag."  

Best Lines

The Martian: Mark: “They say once you grow crops somewhere, you have officially colonized it. So, technically, I colonized Mars. In your face, Neil Armstrong!”

Sicario: Alejandro: “You will not survive here, you are not a wolf. This is the land of wolves.”

Winner: Sicario


The Martian: While some of the humor (which the book is known for) falls flat on its face, watching Mark joke his way through despair is an enjoyable experience.

Sicario: If you think torture and violence is funny, you are a sick fuck.

Winner: Sicario

Best Action Scene

The Martian: Mark flying a rocket through Mars atmosphere where the only thing keeping him safe is a harness and tarp.

Sicario: Getting their convoy stuck in traffic, the task force has a standoff with cartel members. It doesn’t end well for the cartel members.

Winner: Sicario- Sicario just has more pew pew.


Honestly, they are both good movies. The Martian is well made and faithful to its subject material. Sicario beats it though with amazing performances, a gritty commentary about the Mexican state of affairs, and intense action. If you get a chance to see both though, you wouldn’t regret it.

Look at it this way Mark. At least it's not Juarez.