Mutant League Football

Actraiser:  "They won't carry this guy off the field on a stretcher, they'll carry him off in a sponge."

Traditionally most gamers fall into about three different groups. The first are your hardcore simulation players. These guys can tell you why it’s reasonable to buy a $400 dollar flight stick or show off their racing chair in front of a triple display setup. The second are your hardcore sports fanatics. You’ve probably met these people as they are probably the only fuckers to ever own a multitap so their can yell racial slurs at each other playing Fifa and the latest Madden. Then you have everyone else. In an attempt to make a sports game appeal to everyone else, Mutant League Football was created. It wasn’t the first to bridge the gap, but it was the first at being able to run into a landmine during a play, bribe the ref, or kill the entire opposing team.


There was no other acceptable way to play aside from murdering the opposing team’s players.

Mutant League Football was the sports game for the rest of us. It was built on top of the Madden engine at the time so the football was there. They just added a couple layers of juvenile insanity. You set off creating a game where one of the first options is setting the brutality level. This can be set from level 1(Rough) to level 5 (Annihilation). Level 5 allows you to be a ruthless motherfucker and have the ability to kill the entire team before the match up ends. I remember when this happened to me the first time. I was so fucking pissed, but I made up for it by murdering his quarterback. Fuck you, John. I’ll never forgive you for that shit. Once you picked your monster filled team (Screaming Evils, Deathskin Razors, etc.), you get to choose a hazard littered field where any careless player can get killed. There were the audibles you could also call in the game where, before the play, you had the chance to either bribe the ref or outright kill him. It played like football, but the game was so violent and different, it managed to make me give a shit about getting good.

That coach is all kinds of fucked up.

Mutant League had a kind of cult following and took another spin with a Hockey game which had decent brawling and a goalie that was a giant shark mouth. It was pretty good. NBA Jam come out later that year and NFL Blitz soon after. Sure there was the Street series, which made basketball fun for non-sports guys, but that violent charm Mutant League had hasn’t come along in a while. All we can do is make a wish upon a star and hope that either Mutant League makes a triumphant return, are sports start getting homicidal.