The Archive

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...and other things.

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Batman (NES):  If I had to wall jump everywhere, I would probably kill the Joker too.

Batman still stands as one of the best games for the NES in so many ways, but it sure as hell isn't for sticking close to the Tim Burton film or using a lot of reference from the comics. Looking at a ton of other comic book games for the system (Wolverine, Silver Surfer, X-Men), that's probably a good thing. In this version of Batman, he fucking loves guns, bounces off of walls to get around, and opts for industrial factories rather than the streets of Gotham. Despite all of this that might irk purists, it's still really good. Even if you took out Batman, it would still stand up as one of the best action platformers made for the system.

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Tin Cup American Whiskey

Good and cheap is hard to come by these days when purchasing a sipping whiskey. Tincup American Whiskey (technically bourbon) falls into both of these necessary categories, and at around $25 for a 750ml bottle, Tincup is a game changer. Gone are the days of compromising on taste and price for a decent whiskey that you can sip straight out of the bottle. Jim Beam, I’m looking right at you old friend.

Robocop vs Terminator:  Robocop vs Terminator: If twelve year olds had an illustrated argument

While I still love slap bracelets, Pogs, and Hypercolor shirts, the 90's was fucking ridiculous. Comics were getting pretty crazy too with the crazy collector's covers and an endless supply of first issues that never amounted to anything. While Image Comics was starting to boom and the mega X-Men events overshadowed everything, Dark Horse Comics was quietly sitting in corner churning out licensed comics like Aliens and Predator. One of those gems was Robocop vs Terminator who was written by the critically acclaimed and eventually insane Frank Miller. Such an epic concept could only be drawn by Walt Simonson who did the impossible and made Thor suck less. It was if the stars aligned and put a supremely talented duo to take a severely retarded idea and make it awesome. What we have is the most beautiful train wreck carefully crafted that could ever come from a comic where a cyborg cops punches the shit out of assassin robots.

Blame!

Tsutomu Nihei

I'm sure that I'm not the only one who hits the wall. You start out strong, watching Akira from someone's recommendation. Then you watch Ghost in the Shell. Someone points to Berzerk and then you find yourself vegetating on Dragonball Z fight scenes. You start to examine your life through Evangelion and publicly praise Studio Ghibli's works. You are running full speed when you finally hit it, wondering what the fuck you are doing with your life giving a shit about a stupid high pitched schoolgirl with even dumber problems. But every once in a while, I manage to find some so unique that sets me running again. Enter Blame! which is one of the most unique not only in manga and cyberpunk, but in science fiction all together.

LTN Superbowl Bet:  The only winning move is not to play.

The Die has been cast and it has will be decided. The Less Than Negative crew makes their Superbowl bets in the most abusive way possible.  The bets are as follows-

• Phil- Seahawks (Gives up nicotine for a month in all forms if loses)
• Rob- Seahawks (Shaves his beard if loses)
• Cody- Patriots (Gives up drinking for a month if loses)

The announcements of losers will be updated in this article once the final score is tallied.  May God have mercy on all our souls.

Starflight:  A journey into roach engineers, strip mining, and space racists.

The ISS Longinus was prepped for its mission of exploring the vast universe while Captain Bossman looked over the personnel files of his brave crew. Stu was going to take his role as Science officer with the android Robocab in control of navigation. Roach, our insect-like Velox engineer, was in charge of cargo and trying to keep the ship in one piece when we inevitably piss off a fleet of warships. Wizliz took the role of our Thrynn comm officer. This reptilian officer will ensure that the elegant languages of the vast cultures of the universe will get translated to mongoloid. This is not Wizliz's fault. It's just that Bossman thinks Class 3 shields and multiple weapon systems on the Longinus are cooler than adequate crew training. Last we have the talking plant Greenpea of the peaceful Elowan race who will serve as the medical officer. It's Greenpeas's job to patch us all up when we fuck up a landing or if crew members get hurt when a fleet of eight murderous Mechan ships decide that our luxury of breathing is being revoked. It is up to the brave affirmative action crew of the Longinus to explore this universe and ultimately save all known life from the cause of the mysterious solar flares that are wiping out vast systems. The brave crew does a heroic job of fucking this up royally.

One of the most tripped out videos ever made.

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Prophet:  "A man emerges, finally awake from the long sleep of the hyperpod."

You may remember Prophet from the “extreme” 90's when chromium covers pushed sales and putting pockets on characters was the comic trend of the time. Image comics was the biggest at the time pushing their comics with a style over substance mentality. If you read Youngblood, it was one of the worst offenders where you have horribly trademarked Liefield art mixed with stories that make SuperPro look like fucking Shakespeare. Somehow, out of that pile of dogshit came Prophet which told the story of a genetically modified soldier that liked shortswords and pockets. It was just as bad and only lasted about twenty issues which should have been forgotten by time. It wasn't. In probably the best and strangest revap ever, writer Brandon Graham and artist Simon Roy hacked away at Prophet making it unrecognizable. What we are left with is a comic that feels more epic than Star Wars, more bizarre than any classic Doctor Who episode, and more of a Heavy Metal issue regular than anything that Image Comics is comfortable with.

Saga:  A crazy space opera with talking cats, magic, mutilated ghost babysitters, and breastfeeding.

What do you call a comic when you toss in space opera, family, open sexuality, PTSD-ridden robot things, bounty hunters, crazy ex-girlfriends, gay fish reporters, and an ongoing galactic war? Beats the fuck outta me, but you would get something resembling Saga. With Brian K. Vaughan writing the story and the very beautiful artwork that seemingly came outta left field from Fiona Staples, Saga is the one series that is worth jumping into.

I'm more of a Red Bull kinda guy. 

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Truck:  The LTN guide to home hooch in the war against sobriety.

There are times in a proud boozer’s life when dry spells are more terrifying than being strapped for cash. The tools need to be in your belt when you make that terrifying choice to cut corners and be cost efficient. Thankfully, making your own wine at home is not only an interesting science experiment, but also cheap enough to produce small or large scale after you blow all your booze money on a late night bender with strippers and cocaine.

I mean....the Rock was born to smack talk on your roodypoo candy ass.

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Actraiser:  Why would a god need a hi-score?

For its time, Actraiser was an awesomely weird title for the SNES putting you in the shoes of a god protecting a people who may be dumber than the scientists in Prometheus. In what could've have been just a mediocre action title killing tree people, evil baboons, and armored centaurs, the designers put a strange management game where you help expand your people's cities. Don't get me wrong. I loved bashing the shit outta centaurs with a sword about as big as the character but this weird city management thing made this game unique and pretty fun.

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