American Ninja

American Ninja:  Who else can wield a blade that never cuts.

Ninja, or as they were then known as Shinobi, started to pop up in history around the 15th century. At the time, they were consider infiltrators, scouts, and assassins. There were two clans that produced professionally trained ninja but many were mercenaries favored due to being flexible or even dismissive of the strict Bushido code. They were the masters of stealth and perfected their craft so well it turned into a verb. Their skill throughout history is marred with myth and legend due to the secretive nature of their duties. But there is one thing that the Japanese couldn't account for. They couldn't have anticipated the rad awesomeness of.....AMERICAN NINJA.

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Falling Down

Falling Down:  How pissed have you been when you missed McDonald’s breakfast?

Movies where people lose their shit are guilty pleasures of mine. There are several films where there are amazing freak outs, but Falling Down devotes an entire movie to Michael Douglas rolling around in it. It is the story of a man out of his time getting pushed out by an apathetic society and lashes out at everything in the most irresponsible way possible while trying to get to his daughter’s birthday. Its fucking great.

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Transformers the Movie

Transformers the Movie:  How a cartoon designed to sell toys became one of the first steps toward adulthood.

For a young kid, the movie opens like a shotgun to the face, with the ultimate Transformer’s antagonist, Unicron, consuming an entire planet for fuel. We are shown the scale of the upcoming threat as the movie sets the tone five minutes in. The Decepticons intercept an Autobot shuttle to Earth murdering all inside. Ironhide, Brawn, Prowl, and Ratch are now corpses decorating the inside of the ship all while NGR’s Instruments of Destructions blares through the speakers. For fans of the show, all jaws were dropped. This was supposed to be a stupid show about transforming trucks made to sell toys to gullible kids. Now, the stakes were raised. The violence and action was cranked to 11 with a power metal soundtrack while children across America had their minds blown. Advertising needs to take notice. This is how you sell stupid toys to impressionable kids.

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